"Nobody, but nobody can make it out here alone."
As we age, we depend more and more on friends to comfort us so we feel less alone. We need to talk about our fears and failures, our hopes and dreams. We need someone to listen and say, "I know just what you mean," when we talk about our mother, our husband, our job. We need someone who can understand our feelings when our hearts are broken. Someone we can call in the middle of the night. Someone who can talk us through a crisis and say, "You're strong. You can do it."
We change. The friends we need change. As teenagers, we needed friends in the right circles to prop up our fragile self-esteem. As we age and learn to accept ourselves, we pick our friends for who they are, not how they look. We change. Life changes. We set out in a new spiritual direction, change jobs, get a divorce and seek new friends. We have new interests and want to share them.
My husband is a good guy and a good friend. I can ramble along about many things-- until I start talking about feelings. Most men don't care about hot flashes-- unless you're grouchy. Then they'll head for the garage or rake the yard. If you complain about your favorite pants that won't zip, they'll probably be smart enough not to offer suggestions there, either. Men are
great-- just hard to talk to. They want to fix-it and get on with it. So, don't complain about your mother or your sister or he might try to fix it-- and make things worse. We need female friends when we want to talk about feelings.
You're never alone if you have a few good friends a phone call or mouse click away.
There's good times, bad times, and sad times. Do you have a good friend who listens?
Molly Brown, DMS